Melbourne Storm Salary Cap Fuck-Up

Pictured: Scumbags.

I suppose I will weigh in on this not-really-that-much-of-a-shock kerfuffle that the Victorian NRL franchise have brought upon the Rugby League world, once again, fucking up the image of the best sporting comp in the world.

Whilst not a Melbourne Storm fan myself, go the Roosters, you still have to admire the skill of the players, no matter how much some of the administrators sucked them off to keep them at the club. But obviously the added ball cradling was not worth it in the end with their 2007 and 2009 Premierships, and the 2006, '07 and '08 Minor Premierships ripped away from them.

Now which players got the benefits of such blatant salary cap breaches?
Who gives a fuck? Except maybe the tax-man. The point is that they cheated the comp, the fans, the opposition and the innocent parties at the club, and now they can't register a comp win for the rest of the season.

Will they recover from this collosal fuck up?
Probably. But they will need to completely restructure the inner workings of the club and win back the little public interest they had in Melbourne in the first place.

Will they be able to stay in the comp?
I think they will. The club is too important for Rugby League to kick out with, until this, League slowly gaining popularity in Victoria which is completely AFL dominated.

Did Craig Bellamy know?
Of course he fucking did. Next.

Is there any point of the players even turning up to play?
Yes. They can still play Rep football and others will now be playing for contracts at other clubs in the NRL and Super League for next year.

Does this prove the salary cap does not work?
No. It proves that the Storm cheated. Simple as that.

Should the Premierships go the losing sides in 2007 and 2009?
No fucking way. I don't like either Manly or Parramatta but to give them the Premierships now after they lost the game is just stupid to me. Yes, Melbourne cheated but those two sides still didn't win and to give the wins to them now cheapens the result of the Grand Final in my opinion. Would i feel differently if they beat the Roosters? No. I'd would still feel cheated but to hand the Premiership to the losing side after the fact does not sit right with me.



Pictured: A great poker player.

This story is going to continue to dominate sports headlines for a while to come and I don't think we've heard the end of this saga.

At least the Sharks don't have to worry about the wooden spoon....

Tripp Dusty

Entitled '200' is South Park's 200th Episode

Thought I'd write this thing seeing I said I would a bit ago. So here it goes.

'200' is the landmark 200th installment of the great 'South Park' animated comedy series that airs in the U.S. on Comedy Central. Now in it's 14th season and still going strong. This not so PC series still manages to shock and disturb with the little shits we've come to love.

The episode starts by making a joke about rehashing jokes from earlier, which they in turn do themselves on numerous occasions, referencing some of the more well known moments from the last 199 episodes. It then tears the piss right out of the couch jumping insane Scientologist motherfucker Tom Cruise, who they meet packing fudge in a chocolate factory (Get it?), throwing back to the closet episode. He cracks the shits and gets all of his celebrity friends, all of whom have been torn apart by South Park in the past, to bring action against the town of South park for slander or some such bullshit.

They manage to keep it fresh for the most part, not being over self referencial, while still bringing back old plots and jokes to make for a great episode.

I'm not going to keep going, mostly because I could not be fucked but we do see Mr Hat again, Jennifer Lopez/Mitch Conner (Cartman's hand criminal whatsy), Mecha-Streisand, The Gingers, Muhammad and of course, Randy being awesome and overdramatic. The episode ended on a cliff-hanger with us still wanting to know who Cartman's father is, again (apparently it's not his hermaphrodite mother, who the fuck knew?), and whether we will see Muhammad's face, should Comedy Central decide to 'puss-out' again or not. Interesting note, Muhammed appears in the credits in every friggin episode but no-one seems to give a fuck about that.

The next episode is called '201' and I for one, will be watching.

9 out of 10 Jew jokes

Tripp Dusty

Danny Green

Anyone watching the Danny green versus some other fucker tonight? I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. i hope we don't get jipped like we did when he fought Roy "Glass Jaw" Jones Jr....

Right then, shut the fuck up. Hey Hey's about to start....

note* The Danny Green fight was shit so I'm not even gonna worry about it

South Park 200th Episode

Not long after it airs, ie: as soon as it's finished downloading, I will bring you a little article on the 200th episode of the cack fest known to one and all as South Park.

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and fat fuck/big boned/cunthead, Cartman will be appearing, one would think, in the episode. What it pokes fun at this time, only the theoratical Jesus Christ himself knows (Also a South Park Character). Butters should be there with all his awesomeness and so should Randy Marsh, the hilarious as balls father of Stan. Did you see the episode 2 weeks ago? Medicinal Fried Chicken? Look it up. Now. I'll give you time. Watch it if possible, and giggle your ovaries out.

Anyway, with a consistency most TV shows can only hope for, South Park makes people laugh at things that no-one else will poke a priest's dick at, but sometimes also makes you think about what they are trying to say. Then fuck it all up with a poo joke.

By the way, can you believe there has been 199 episodes? And a movie? It doesn't seem that long ago my friends in Year 7 were telling me about this hilarious animated show on SBS, that seemed like it was about Jews kicking Canadian babies around. I gave it a watch (after i couldn't find any boobies) on SBS that Monday night and laughed my arse off at the antics off these little pricks who did and said whatever the fuck they pleased, all the while still from the minds of the children they are.

So, whenever it's on, not long after I will give it a little review, and post it here. I know the 3 or 4 of you who have read my previous ones will no doubt hang on my every word.

Tripp Dusty

Underbelly: The Golden Mile

It certainly is a jungle out there in the 2 hour Premiere of Underbelly: The Golden Mile.

I have been eagerly awaiting this since I purchased the first 2 seasons after I finally decided to see what all the hubub was about. Underbelly set the bar pretty high for an Australian drama in its first year but A Tale Of Two Cities jumped over that, titty fucked it and exploded in its face. It was way better, except for Matthew Newton's horrible Kiwi accent. Also, there was far more nudity than the first, that alone is not what makes it a better installment but it certainly didn't hurt (Something which, so far, seems to have been forgotten in The Golden Mile). What did however, was the story, which was written brilliantly, liberties taken of course. The characters just seemed more interesting and with the 80's to work with, was always going to be fun to watch. Now on to The Golden Mile...

It has started slow. Emma Booth was good as the obliviously frigid and clueless Kim Hollingsworth (Note: Blow job). Not much happened other than Mark Furze' pretty good performance as a, for lack of better word, cunt. He was great as Kim's dick boyfriend and a far cry from his poofy Home and Away character. He keeps nicking her money and as a result she gets a job as an escort. Dieter Brummer was back for his second series, this time taking a more central role as the corrupt copper - Trevor Haken. In fact, a few more of the shady cops from last year are back, with the addition of Dougie the Pizza Boy as another arsehole cop who seems to love a punch-on. Peter O'Brien also returns as racing identity George Freeman who gives our main bad guy his first taste of the criminal world. We meet John Ibrahim, who is played by Farass Dirani, at school being called a Leb whislt chatting to a couple of white chicks and proceeds to fuck up the name-callers which reslults in expulsion. His attendance at the school social after this is a nice, light hearted part of the show and other than a bit near the end, pretty much the only one we will see. Being Underbelly and all.

Sigrid Thornton and Natalie Rogue - Rogue Trader appear also but who gives a fuck about them. This series appear's to be the focus of Kim, John and Trevor. It starts in 1988 and will finish in 1999. We are sure to see plenty of convenient brick sized mobile phones by the end and a fuck-load of violence in King's Cross. Hopefully we even see some poor bastard/actor forced to wear parachute pants while taking part in some Hammertime. Oh yeah, what's with all the tranny's for fuck sake?

In conclusion, I enjoyed it for the first episodes of the year but so far, falls a little behind A Tale Of Two Cities in the awesomeness department. Here's hoping The Golden Mile has bent A Tale Of Two Cities over the bench and gone to town on it by the end of the year. Never the less it's sure to rate through the arsehole for Channel 9.

So far I give it 6 bags of coke out of 10.

Keep checking this blog as I will review more stuff and keep crapping on with other things I feel are relevant.

Tripp Dusty

Kick-Ass Review Of Kick-Ass

Kick Ass is based on the 2008 Marvel comic series of the same name and before I go much further, McLovin is the bad guy's son. So there's that.

It all start's of perfectly normal and crap until the main character whose name is not that memorable as i can't recall it, wonder's, why the fuck don't people dress up as superheroes and fuck bad guys shit up? Not exact words but never the less, his friends call him retarded. Undetered by this, he orders a faggy costume that looks like a cross between a Power Ranger and Kermit the Frog's arsehole, and tries to train himself to fight crime.

Now I wont continue to tell you what happens, I would recommend seeing it though, no matter what that shit up there made you think i thought of it. The 11 year old at the time Chloe Moretz truly does kick some ass as Hit-Girl, daughter of Big Daddy, played by Nick Cage, he has trained her so well that it's pretty fuckin' cool watching the stuff she does, and later on, it's nice to see Christopher Mintz-Plasse be a prick instead of a loser. Whats-his-face is the star of the film and he carries it well, playing the poncey nerd very convincingly it's hard not to imagine little Moretz kicking him in the balls just because.

This movie will draw attention and comparison to the superior Watchmen because of the language and tone. The violence in particular will be looked upon harshly because of who carries it out. Hit-Girl. But this movie is not trying to be Watchmen or anything like that. It is it's own film, based on source material that also happens to be in comic form. Never having read the comics myself, I can't tell you if it's faithful or not but I liked it, my brother liked it (but he was always going to even if it was shithouse, Transformers 2) and my friend liked it (I didn't think he would).

All in all I give it 8 nerd-boners out of 10.

Comment's and Criticism's below if you please. I'm not bothered.

Come back later for my review of last night's Underbelly: The Golden Mile. I just need to figure out a similar score system.

Tripp Dusty

backtrack

I'm going to put up a review of Kick-Ass later. I could not be bothered doing it yesterday as I was a tad under the weather. But it will be up later, also a review of last night's Underbelly: The Golden Mile Premiere on Channel 9.